... one of these things just doesn't belong!
Imagine for a moment that you are in the bathroom in your home fresh out of the shower and while you're standing there, towel in hand, you are interrupted by someone that you have never met before who just charges to use the washroom. Nothing sinister like you might see on a prime time TV drama, just answering nature's call ... would that still trouble you?
That sense of your personal space being violated is the same feeling I get when I am in the locker room at the wrestling matches and there seems to be an endless flow of people in and out through that space that genuinely have no business to be there. No ... I'm not talking about the "marks" with a wrestling school graduation certificate in hand (that's a topic for another time), but rather those girlfriends, children, and other hangers on who have been led to believe that it's cool for them to exercise an "all access pass" in and around the venue.
I am more sensitive to this when I am on a tour. In those instances, you're travelling with not only your wrestling gear, but perhaps also another bag or two with your clothes and essentially everything you need to live on the road. Every stop is your home for that short period of time. When you arrive at the arena and drop your bags in the locker room, you need to be able to do so with the same type of assurance you have when you check into a hotel -- that the room belongs to you for the duration of your stay. You need to be able to account for everyone that has access to your stuff. For that twelve hours from set up to tear down, that venue is your home. You're working in that building, you're showering in that building, and (depending on the trip) maybe sleeping in that building as well.
For me, I don't care if some young wrestler has a buddy that's "thinking about training" and wants to learn more before he makes a commitment. If you are serious about this business, you can make that assessment from sitting ringside and then talking to a reputable instructor. Just because you have had an opportunity to look behind the curtain doesn't make you any more informed, and in fact, depending on what locker room you're in - it might do more damage than good. If you haven't paid dues to earn your chair in this room, or are currently paying them - get the hell out of here.
The faces that one sees in the locker room when they look around should all be attached to a pair of wrestling boots, or at least have a recognized function related to THAT event on THAT night. That means, especially in venues where the locker rooms present cramped quarters, if you're not scheduled to appear, stay the hell out of everybody's way and don't distract them from doing their job.
In some venues, you run into situations where the venue is not equipped to support the needs of a wrestling event. Frequently, you run into situations where the wrestlers are herded into storage rooms or kitchens as the best facilities available to prepare for their matches -- I could write a whole column about the worst dressing room facilities (hmm, maybe I will). However, even in situations where male and female talent are expected to share quarters, you will generally find that everyone is respectful of each other's space, and everyone finds a way to make it work.
One time, I was in the locker room after my match and preparing to gear down. I did the mandatory check to ensure that I was exercising the appropriate discretion, and all appeared in order, as I disrobed and rooted through my bag for my clothes, I turned standing fully naked and found myself standing before a preschool girl - a daughter of one of the wrestlers. This was disturbing enough, but even more unsettling was that she was completely unphased by the situation and wanted to engage me in conversation. Everyone else in the room seemed oblivious to what was going on and nobody (including dad a few feet away) did anything to re-direct the girl to the adjacent corridor. CREEPY!
Now I understand that one's professional commitments often have to be balanced with one's responsibilities as a parent. In fact, when my daughter Katie was four years old, my wife and I found that it was more economical for us if I took her on the road for some of my short road trips as opposed to putting her in daycare. While she travelled with the motley bunch of wrestlers, when it was time to go to work - a suitable caregiver was identified - usually a girlfriend or spouse of one of the other guys on the tour, so that she was supervised -- but stayed out of the locker room.
As disturbing as it is that small children would be exposed to the routine goings on in a wrestling locker room, one of the greatest aggravations to me is when you find yourself in a locker room where it has become common practice for girlfriends and wives, who have no association or function with the matches other than their relationship with one of the wrestlers. In many instances, wrestling is a family affair, and maybe the promoter will enlist his wife to manage the gate and concession - this is great. Make 'em earn their keep (thumbs up). But if you've spent any time in the wrestling business, you've undoubtably come across some girl in the locker room, often spouting opinions about a topic they know nothing about to anyone who will listen about what's wrong with the show, or what they liked about the show, or "if I was running this, I would ..." GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE!!
Think about how well it would fly if you got up for work in the morning to go to your job and your boss walked into the staff room to see your girlfriend there hanging out with you. What if she stayed and was just a general nuisance to you and your co-workers for the entire shift? That wouldn't be appropriate in any other workplace, so I would suggest to you that in the wrestling BUSINESS, the same rules of etiquette apply. If you want to bring them to the matches ... by all means, go ahead. If the promoter wants to allow them free admission to the card, fantastic. But unless they have a specific function related to the business on that night, they're really just a fan who got a comp ticket.
When I was breaking into the wrestling game, there was very specific etiquette around what would happen should someone be introduced to the locker room when they did not belong. If you brought a girlfriend to the locker room ... well did you ever get caught chewing gum in school? Did the teacher ever tell you: "I hope you brought enough for everyone else."? You get the idea. You decided VERY quickly which relationship took priority. Some guys weren't as quick to identify the perils -- and that didn't end entirely well.
The locker room is a workplace, it is a meeting room, it is a safe haven, it is a sacred space. Respect that environment and be cautious of what elements you allow to invade that space. Think not only of yourself, but also of your peers and how your decisions will affect them. Bottom line - even if you think it makes you more of a bigshot in the eyes of your friends and family to give them backstage access, it doesn't endear you to the professionals that share the room.
WRESTLERS occupy the locker room, FANS occupy the ringside seats
Vance Nevada