The lost custom of gratitude and respect
It might seem silly that in a business environment, an adult might have to remind another adult of basic common courtesy. However, I find increasingly that there are many 'superstars' in the wrestling business who seem to strut around with a sense of entitlement, often forgetting those that helped them out along the way. Sometimes, acknowledging that assistance is as simple as remembering to say "thank you".
Sadly, demonstrating good manners has become such an anomoly in the wrestling realm that when you see it, it really jumps out at you. There are so many guys absorbed in their own character, angles, and career development, that they lose sight of what others are doing to contribute to that success. Did they get their money in full and on time? Did they get through a match injury free? Did the referee do their job without finding themselves in the way? Is all of your merchandise inventory and revenue accounted for at the end of the night? Did the music guy get your music right? Did the ring announcer read your name correctly? It seems to me that there are a lot of little thank yous that get taken for granted.
When I was in the sixth grade, I had a teacher named Mr. Kloon. He was a little Napoleon of a man, who preached the principles of common courtesy, ironically while often wielding a meter stick in one hand. The message stuck and maybe, just maybe, it was the number of meter sticks that this guy broke that inspired my career path a little. The rules were very simple - please and thank you, be considerate of others, and consider the consequences of your actions on the people around you.
When you take stock of your successes and failures of the past, your friendships and business acquaintances, and the doors that we have opened to do good business in the future, do you see any areas for improvement? Only YOU have the power to affect your positive business and personal relationships with people.
This isn't even a rule that is a wrestling-specific piece of etiquette. This applies to life and can be used in your workplace and social activities away from the business. Remember to thank those people who have helped you down the road to achieving your goals. If a promoter took a chance on you, or kept you regularly working, remember to say thank you for that ... if another worker put in a word for you to get you booked, express your gratitude ... never forget those people who have contributed to your success in any way, however small.
In addition to promoters, don't forget about those people that you share a locker room with. Who went out of their way this year, or on any given night to make you look like a million bucks. This could apply to the action in the ring, or even any assistance they gave you to help you land that girl (or guy if that's the way you swing) after the matches. Did somebody open their address book and share promoters' contacts with you, did they give you a place to crash, maybe they taxi'd your ass all over the place to get you to your bookings. When you start to think in this context, you will always see how much you rely on others in this business.
Once you've identified who should be thanked, how do you go about doing that? Well that, my friends, is really up to you. Depending on who you're thanking, what you're thanking them for, and how close you are with those folks will affect who you show that gratitude and how hard you work to maintain that working relationship. You do want to be sincere in your thank you, but you certainly don't want this to come across as contrived politicing (which actually works in reverse for you). Think about this at great length. How can you possibly acknowledge, and/or pay back this favor that was done for you?
Whatever you do, do not send out a blanket e-mail thanking everyone in general (or worse in a list format) to say thank you. This comes across as lazy and insincere. Instead, this is almost more of a show about how many people you know and/or think that you're "over" with. Genuine thank yous are individual and are not for public display. It is as personal as your relationship with that person.
I have been known to frequently rant about the lack of respect that some of the newer folks to our business have for each other and the business itself. I don't think that this is representative of the generation as a whole, but rather to culture that has been allowed to exist in some of the wrestling schools across the country. I have seen some guys coming into the business that have been fantastic, and others that should be purged from the business immediately. This is a reality and is probably the most significant change in our industry over the past fifteen years (really since the death of the territory system, when guys started to claw for the remaining opportunities to earn a living through wrestling). Nobody can fix this but the people inside the business itself. We might not change the business -- but we can make it a more enjoyable environment to be a part of.
Who do you have to thank? For myself, the list would take probably three days to write, and at the risk of missing someone, here are a few folks that stand out:
Ernest Rheault: Thank you for giving me the opportunity to break into this business, and also for selling me my first pair of wrestling boots.
Mike Phillips: Thank you for teaching me an early lesson in the ring that I didn't understand or appreciate until a few years later. I never forgot, even if I didn't acknowledge it at the time.
Robby Royce: Thank you for taking me under your wing in 1994 and teaching me about "work".
Wayne Stanton: Thank you for seeing something in me early on and giving me a second chance when I almost blew it less than six months into the business. You are truly one of the most under-appreciated figures in Winnipeg wrestling.
Darren Metselaar: Thank you for your clear view of this business. Though we often argued on these issues a decade ago, as I have matured in this business I realized that you were right in 1995.
Stan Saxon: Thank you for influencing the character that I have become outside of the ring. You have influenced the way that I approach situations not only in wrestling but in the real world.
Bobby Jay: Thank you for the opportunity to be involved at a high level in one of the most ambitious and fun promotions in Winnipeg in a long time. I appreciate the creative freedom that you gave me during that time, even if you really weren't sure where I was going.
Eddie Watts: Thank you for the influence that you exercised to help me to get booked for tours in the Maritimes for Grand Prix and Real Action Wrestling. Even though these didn't turn out as they should have financially, they were certainly great learning experiences. You have also taught me a lot about survival in this business.
Ernie Todd: Thanks for being a dick. You have taught me some valuable lessons about waging war in the business and never presenting an opening for someone to stick it to ya. Touche. I still owe ya one, but I am somewhat doubtful that I'll get a thank you back.
Michelle Starr: Thank you for giving me my first opportunity on the west coast and letting me work my way up from the opening match. While we have not always agreed, your experience and insight in the business has challenged the way I think about this business.
Scotty Mac & Adam Firestorm: Thank you for your role in some of the favorite matches of my career since I arrived on the west coast.
Gurv Sihra: Thank you for the drive and dedication that you bring to this business. Your passion for this business is contagious, and it inspires an old vet like me to work harder and never take this business for granted.
Ice: Thank you for being the first guy to ever return the favor on a booking. I am still a little wowed to this day. You are a credit to the business.
Johnny Obsession, Barry Welsh, Harv Sihra: When the chips are down, you find out who your friends are in the business sometimes. Thank you. I will never forget that.
Scotty Sweatervest: Thank you for being a friend. I would say of all of the folks that I have ever met through the wrestling business, you're probably the one guy that stands out that I could see that we would have still been pals even if not for this business. P.S. As a perfomer, this guy is truly under-rated and under-appreciated.
Scott Teal: Thank you for taking a gamble on a new type of wrestling book (PLUG: Wrestling in the Canadian West, available May 1). I guarantee that this title will deliver for you.
To the wrestling community - specifically Don Leo Jonathan, Dean Higuchi, & Tim Flowers: Thank you for all of your great stories and assistance in putting together this first of its kind reference on Canadian wrestling history.
Mrs. Nevada: In sixteen years of wrestling, you have endured fifteen (and counting) through some of the roughest periods and incredible lows and still haven't kicked me out yet. Your support in what sometimes seems like an impossible pursuit is never lost on me. Don't worry this is my last year ... ;)
El Phantasmo: Thank you. While it certainly wasn't a positive experience at the time, if it had not been for a mis-step taken at a wrestling show eighteen months ago, I may not have been inspired to write a lot of these columns. Many up and comers also owe you a thank you.
I know I've missed a lot of folks on this list, so I am hopeful that I have remembered to thank these people along the road as things happened.
Who do you have to thank? Think about that for a while. I am sure that some of those folks would appreciate to hear from you. Maybe, instead of these "Random 25 things" lists we all seem to get bombarded with ... maybe the wrestling community should initiate a "Thank you to these folks" list. After all, who doesn't appreciate a thank you now and again?
Vance Nevada